Don’t panic! This is not going to be a badly written tribute to Bowie with cheesy references to the titles of his songs. Ok, so one cheesy reference and I’m no superman so would have to google them.
I want to write honestly and, I hope, helpfully about your body changing over time. Your evolving, ever-changing body. You see, we are sold a lie that if we work hard enough on sculpting, toning and building our perfect body, it will never change. This is a lie embedded in a great fear. The fear of ageing. More specifically, the fear of losing independence and experiencing pain and death.
Cheery? Perhaps not but in my culture and society (which is all I can truly speak of) it’s taboo and multi-millions are made staving off this ultimate and inevitable change.
Alright, Bee, there’s nothing we can do about death but what’s that got to do with wellbeing and how I live my life? Because that fear-mongering that rakes in the cash applies to every life change that impacts your body. Puberty? Oh, we have a cream for that hormonal skin and while we are at let’s get your 14-year-old self to obsess over the size of her waist.
Do you know, I came across a TikTok challenge the other day to take your bra straps and connect them and see if you could put them around your waist? The message is this change you are experiencing, gaining spots or curves, is to be fought against. Pay us and we will halt this change, we will help to keep your body static. Bollocks, I know, but do you see where I’m going with this?
Another example; pregnancy. Do you know how many friends, family and clients aspire to their pre-baby weight? Personally, having experienced the epic shift in my life, self and priorities that came with giving birth I get the desire to reclaim my body, my sense of self and my independence. But that body is gone. Of course, let’s work on our pelvic floor so that when trampolining there is no leakage but getting back to that body as if nothing life-altering has occurred within it? No. Not happening.
Products targeting your Mum Tum sell and celebrities still have a long way to go in role modelling the truth of this body change for women… Katy Perry, I salute you.
Lastly, and most personally for me the life change and body change that is perhaps still the least discussed the perimenopause and menopause. I’ve just had a rather profound and worthwhile call with Andrea at Cotswold Menopause (cotswoldmenopause.co.uk). You see with all that’s been happening here in 2020, I appear to have neglected to pay attention to the changing needs of my own body.
I hear you…. “call yourself a wellness coach?!” Well yes, actually I do. I am constantly challenged to adapt and intuit what my body needs but when it comes to this particular change, I am pretty undereducated. So, I will learn and I will adapt and my lifestyle will change because what I have worked out through each change so far, is that my body does not need me to fight with it, to force it into submission. What kind of a relationship would do that in the name of love? If I love it, I will accept it today and plan for our future needs with flexibility and self compassion.
There’s the challenge; how are you recognising the changing needs of your own body? How are you working with those needs? I am asking myself as much as I am you. And if your needs are around the menopause, please do get in touch with Andrea as knowledge has got to be the first step.